Friday, December 23, 2011

Om purnam-adah purnam-idam

purnaat purnam-udacyate.

purnasya purnam-aadaaya,

purnam-eva-avashishyate

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Main na bhoolunga...

main na bhooloongaa,
main na bhooloongi
main na bhooloongaa,
main na bhooloongi
in rasmon ko in qasmon ko
in rishte naaton ko
main na bhooloongaa,
main na bhooloongi
main na bhooloongi,
main na bhooloonga


chalo jag ko bhoolen,
ho chalo jag ko bhoolen,
khayaalon mein jhoolen
bahaaron mein dolen,
bahaaron mein dolen,
sitaaron ko chhoo len
aa teri main maang sanwaaroon
tu dulhan ban jaa
maang se jo dulhan ka rishtaa
main naa bhooloongi
main na bhooloongaa,
main na bhooloongi
main na bhooloongaa,
main na bhooloongi


samay ki dhaaraa mein,
ho samay ki dhaaraa mein,
umar bah jaani hai
jo ghadi jee lenge,
jo ghadi jee lenge,
wohi rah jaani hai
main ban jaaun saans aakhri
tu jeewan ban jaa
jeewan se saanson ka rishtaa
main na bhooloongi
main na bhooloongaa,
main na bhooloongi
main na bhooloongaa,
main na bhooloongi


barastaa saawan ho,
mahaktaa aangan ho
kabhi dil doolhaa ho,
kabhi dil dulhan ho
gagan bankar jhoomen,
pawan bankar ghoomen
chalo ham raah moden,
kabhi naa sang chhoden
kahin pe chhup jaanaa hai,
nazar nahin aanaa hai
kahin pe bas jaayenge,
ye din kat jaayenge
arre kyaa baat chali,
wo dekho raat dhali
ye baaten chalti rahen,
ye raaten dhalti rahen
main man ko mandir kar daaloon
tu poojan ban jaa
mandir se poojaa kaa rishtaa
main naa bhooloongi
main na bhooloongaa,
main na bhooloongi
in rasmon ko in qasmon ko
in rishte naaton ko
main na bhooloongaa,
main na bhooloongi
main na bhooloongaa,
main na bhooloongi





For a die hard romantic filmy person dat I m.. This song rocks the chart...

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Almost missed the flight at Bangalore airport....
If anyone located a girl all Saree clad, running like a maniac, dragging the baggage , den dat was me...
Alas boarded the flight...
Phewwwww!!!!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

I AM DUMB.......


in bold italics capital letters.....

Friday, September 30, 2011

i still enjoy playing "u dont love me mom" game....


me- mom!! i wanna talk...
mom- not now!!! i m busy!!
me- nah!! i wanna talk right now...
mom- ll call for u once i m thru...
me- do i need to take an appointment now.. u dont love me mom
mom- ofcourse i do..!! even i took an appointment from a doc to get u in this world..
me- i m thankful..but i still wanna talk..
mom- speak up!!
me- how m i looking...
mom- princess!!!
me- he he he he he he he he he!!!!!

me- tell me mom.. wud my daughter hug me.. n revolve around me.. the way i do to u..
mom- depends on u..
me- but i ll love her madly...
mom- we ll see..
me- but tell me... i ll be ok in sharing my sarees wid her..
mom- am i not??
me- ma!! ur my mom... u are a sweet mother.. i wonder whther i ll be...
mom- hang on!! r u pregnant...
me- no!!!
mom- any plans??
me-no!!
mom- chapter close... anythg else...
me- nah!!.... but mom i love u.. n i wanna be like u ... u r so serene... me such a devil... u r so composed... so much in control... n me....
mom- u r a darling... angel...
me- love u ma!!

Saturday, July 23, 2011

I'm sure i have a noble mind and honesty and tact;
yet no one's more surprised than me to see the way i act!

Thursday, June 30, 2011

i m back ,, back to the place i made the choice to be... gujarat...
its different... its different from whr i belong.. but different doesnt mean bad or good.. its simply different..
but my heart is lying thr.. i m worried bout my house... since mom is not thr.. i dont know how dad n brothers r figuring out thgs... being the only lady of the house i was atleast handling soemthg... but now since i m not thr i m really worried...
i miss my frds... i miss it all.. thr i used to wake up at 5... and party endlessly...here even at 7 i m like a lil more... thr i wass sleep deprived... now i m so sleepy... thr was no though i m back to the books now... but yeah i miss the classes.. i miss my car... i miss my mirror... i miss my brother's t shirts... i miss cooking exclusively for him... i miss being a mom to him at every beck n call on which my frds tell me,,,abhilasha u r pampering him way too much... he is five years younger to u..u shud make him work for u...
yesterday wen he called me how to make a toast... i felt so helpless..i wish i wud have got my lil brother as my dahej... i wish i had some magical powers... but yeah i know they ll manage... the way they were wen i was not thr... god make me go normal...

Sunday, June 19, 2011

came late
dad calling, bro calling, M calling...
mom called in between... cousin told her i m out to fetch somethg...
lil bro texted me.. dont ring the door bell... gimme a call i ll open it..
drove like a maniac..
reached home...
tip toed to the room...
changed in seconds..
promised myself nvr to be that late...
(promises r meant to be broken)


PS: awsome party!!! kasbah rocks!!

Friday, June 17, 2011

thr is always a fear in 'new'...
the known even if not that good is still tolerable..
the known even if not that pleasant give us happiness gives a feeling of security..
to dive into unknown is full of fear...
any new path comes wid apprehensions.. but to evolve its necessary to strive ... the thg to understd is ,the way u r living, is it right.. or u should take a stand... a stand for the new avenues.. u have nothing to lose.. the past didnt give u wat u looked for... so nothing is thr in it.. the new might not be that fruitful as well... but sure, it gives a hope..it mite turn out to be fruitful..the new mite not gimme wat i look for.. as it is not dependent on the path.. but on the one who is walking on it...
start the change.. start it now... from outside... it ll seep inside... u have nothing to lose for sure...
the old has given just nothing..keep on searching..... searching.....
u have to trust someone... anyone who has gone thru the same.. my heart is turning into a revolutionary... been thr done dat.. is it... may be... my mind is just full of the past... my mind doesnt have a future.. my mind stays in a morgue... my heart is full of confidence..my mind is so calculative... so manipulative.. hey abhi! dont listen to ur mind.. it ll ruin u... get up and get going.. dive into the unknown..
go into the endless search.. no matter how much u r afraid... keep striving... be brave..
it ll give u pain i know... it ll try to pull u back.. i know... but u have to pay the price for the priceless...

Thursday, June 9, 2011

its 12:15 or so...for someone like me who prefers to go off to sleep by 10 , its pretty late.
thr is somethg bothering me... bothering is it... i dont know...i just closed my eyes.. n i saw all of them who matter to me the most... my family.. my frds
i saw all of them standing around me.. almost encircling me... but not standing close to me...
at a little distance away from me....
at this very moment m feeling detached to everyone.. for me.. its always 'us' or 'we'... but i m feeling so all of myself ... my mom is not looking like a mother to me.. dad not like my dad... they r all looking like individuals who matter to me the most.. irrespective of the relation i share wid them... i saw my brothers as well
i dont know... m i feeling lonely.. or m i feeling alone... i want to hold on to dem.. but i m not able to... have i grown up is it... watevr it is.. i m not liking it... but this is the reality... i think a reality that i always ran away from... everyone moves on.. so do i... i think its time for me to get out of the centre... n to make a way for myself... to be on my own... to love dem n everythg else... but need to be an 'i' now... detached attachment...is it...
just want to keep it simple... i love dem... n i know even they wud love to see me all by myself...
nvr wanted to... but its time to grow up!!!...time to be an individualist... me not making sense.. i know!!!...



PS- scribbled by a sleep deprived person!!..

Sunday, May 29, 2011

bring it on...

its human isnt it... to run after somethg which is running away from u.....
but at the same time... the one who is running away from u is also in the same marathon....
wen we do understd all this.. den y do we fall prey to it...
we know wats right n wats wrong.. wats the right if not the best choice ... but still we fall... we fail..
we give ourselves enough reason to mock... to mock at the person right thr in the mirror...
and den we hold ourselves tight.. and say not again...
btw ever hugged urself.... ever hugged by soembody wid all its being...
we know who all r frds ... foes as well... but then why do we take them for granted who mean the most to us... may be i m generalising it... n i shudnt be doing it...
lemme say it.. i m the one for whom i have mentioned all that above.. and i wud love to meet certain ppl who dont go by the above rules...
but!! nahh!!! i dont want to meet such ppl on the contrary (damn i m such a contradiction by myself)...i m sure they r missing out on a lot...
they r missing out on the whole marathon thg... sure they r calm n composed n everythg inside.. as they need not have to be part of this ... but then wats fun , to be just neutral... whr is the spice...
u keep on running after somethg. n den u realise that damn!!! wat the f**k.... getting it was nvr fun.. the chasing was... he he he!!!
and den u swear forever that nvr in ur life u ll be part of the 'run'.... and wid the next morning u start... u start all over again... u dont even learn from ur mistakes... mistakes????? nah!!! not mistakes... u love every bit of it.. u love it coz it taught u somethg... and also taught u to unlearn somethg... taught u to gear up.. and std again... taught u to look out for wats next???
most importantly teaches u to shout it out loud!!..


BRING IT ON !!!!

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

bunked!!! not again...

sunny-kahan hai??
me-classs ja rahi hun...
sunny-U turn maar.. wapis aa... we are meeting..
me-pagal ho gaya hai.. main pahunch gayi hun...
sunny-stay out i m coming to pick u up... will drop u back... fir ghar nikal jana..
me-pagal hai kya.. school ya college thodi hai.. me not bunking... get lost!!!

sweety- whr r u??
me-reached class.. sitting...
sweety-close ur books.. come out..
me-nahi yar.. class hai... aane wale hain sir..
sweety-come out abhi!! we are meeting.. tu pahunch me and sunny are just on the way....
me-ok :-) ll be thr before u...



had a great time..went to Mocha.. ate nothing... just a sip of some chocolate drink.. hated it...
asked for the check ..
me and sunny ran!!!
and i told the guard.. bhaiya wo jo ladki baithi hai na.. wo pay karegi.. jane mat dena use...
poor sweety paid... ;-)

may accenture pay her well... Amen!!!



Tuesday, April 5, 2011

i m at peace... m i not??
yes i m ...
wat is it..??
have i understood u better....
nah!!! not possible....
i have understood myself better wid respect to ur understanding...

Monday, March 28, 2011

guj visit

reminder 2- Ashish sharma plz give my digi cam... if u want to buy it den gimme 15K.. i m all set to sell it off to the one who is in love wid it... plz de deyar... apne bachho ki mundan ceremony ke baad dega kya... dont force me to send cops at ur place..just because u got few stuff (2 T shirts,a dress,two footwear,t shits for my brother,cosmetics,hand bag) from Australia u think i ll spare u.. plz find better ways to call me to ur place...


me in gujarat.. came on 28th going back on 31st...
reason for a sudden visit... "baby! how do u look,,, i have forgotten ur face".....isse pehle ki husband starts calling me.. abhilasha ben.. i though ii must rush to him... anyways.. he calls me a guest faculty.... its just a matter of a month sweetheart ..


i thought i ll avoid mentioning my mother in law.. but den every effort goes in vain...so here it is..

a day before i came...

me-hello momy!.. main soch rahi thi ki main teen chaar din ke liye aa jaun...
mil-kyon! teri class nahi hai kya... miss karegi to fir dekhna..
me-nahi momy! classs nahi hai... thoda breeak diya hai.. wapis 1st april se hai..(i lied)
mil-haan aa ja.. achha hi rahega...
me-kuchh lana hai aapke liye yahan se..
mil-haan! dekh le.. teen chaar suits le aana... aur kuchh achha lage.. tu dekh lena,...
me-:-) haan momy!... main le aaungi...
mil-arey seema (sis in law) ke liye bhi..
me-haan haan momy! bilkul..chalo rakhti hun.. class jana hai... (fav show coming on tv)


the day i reached

me-aa gayi main momy!!..
mil-achha kiya..
me-haan! wahi na.. dekho aapko suits achhe lage to theek hai,.. else i ll get them changed..
mil-achhe hain!... khud ke liye nahi liye kya..
me- le lungi.. kahan ja rahi hun...
mil-tujhe meri jaisi saas kabhi milegi.. tera kitna kaam karti hun.. tera room dekh... teri almirah dekh.. faela kar chale jati hai... tere sandals dekh kaise arrange kare hain maine... koi ehsaan hi nahi hai...
me-arey! momy!! aap to aap ho na.. aap ho hi itne achhe... main to abhi seekh rahi hun na.. i really look upto u.. main apnni almirah chahe set bhi kar lun.. but the way u keep it is remarkable.... exceptional...
mil-dekha.. sab yahi kehte hain... main itne theek se rakhti hun... ki andhere mein bhi main bata sakti hun kahan kya rakha hai...
me-wahi na... aap jaise bahut kamm log hain... n its a compliment..


fil-haan haan!! chadha apni saas ko.. kaam karaye ja meri biwi se..
me-kya daddy... zyada ustaad ban rahe ho lag raha hai.... kyon bol rahe ho... fir chiddh jayegi mom...
fil-haan chal ab makkhan mat laga...take rest!



husband dear- ab panchayat karti rahegi kya..bakwas karva lo bas...kabhi chup bhi reh liya kar..


sigh!!!!

Thursday, March 17, 2011

more bout the trip..

as promised ... here comes more bout the trip...

amidst the temperature of below zero degree... water .. rain... mud...

the trip was finalised i think even before my birth... my dear parents went to vaishno devi and asked for a daughter and the barter was.. if they get a darling daughter she wud come in return...i mean excuse me... if u made the deal.. it was suppose to be on u... so from that time till 12th feb 2011.. abhilasha was struggling hard to be thr.. and not to forget that my dear parents took no pain to take me to the respective place... so finally it was suppose to be wid my frds/.. i even asked my husband to accompany me but den he is like.. any place but a pilgrimage.. he financed and wished me luck to carry on..
poor husband not just financed for me.. but also for my frds..
reached thr .. took a hotel.. and then started for the journey... tough it is.. really hard.. reached up thr by 11 but it took like 4 hrs to finally reach the shrine...
my experience wen i reached thr.. was beyond the ideas that i had in my head...it was serene.. a deep calmness... a cool breeze... dont know how to put it in wrds... somethg inside me was quite... quite for a fraction of second.. as if .. this was the day i was longing for.. i m spiritual but yeah religious in its literal sense no i m not... but den it was diferent... cant be described,... all of a sudden i felt a jerk.. and i told my frds/... somethg mite happen to me... dis is the day i was waiting for... and i told dem.. if somethg happens to me... plz take care... these were my last wrds.. i remember so vividly... and den i just collapsed .. as told to me by my frds.. and after that i have no idea wat happened.. my frd lifted me to the near by bench... all the near by uncles and aunties surrounded us... some water, some glucose.. some medicine i think.. i dont know..but then after a while i recollected myself... my frds said.. abhi lets go back.. i told dem.. "ab yahan tak aa gaye hain.. to wapis nahi jayenge".... nd finally we joined the queue again...
now the funny part starts,,,, frds kept on teasing me.. show stopper..le gayi saari limelight... agar aisa kuchh karna hi tha to aage kar leti thoda... humein line mein nahi lagna padta... aage peechhe wali aunties were like.. arey wo theek ho gayi jo tumhare sath thi... i was like,,, aunty wo main hi thi... boo hoo!!!...
darshan got over.. we went further up... at 3.. all dark.. no electricity.. me on a horse.. side mein khaayi... filmy scene lag raha hai na...i know man!... bad it was... but den ab yaad karti hun to achha lagta hai...
while coming back.. it was raining badly.. we bought rain coats... RS.5 per head.. den we took a shelter at a dharamshala... i encountered somethg strange... and weird... in a hall full of 50 ppl...thr were two uncle aunty.. 40+ to honge hi... in one blanket... dont know wat they were upto... so many ppl are lying by ur side... thodi to sharam kar lo yar... in the middle of 50 ppl... how can one make out.. may be they found the apt place for the honeymoon.... but den saanu ki....we were like.... btw abhi.. wat do u think wats goign on... i was like... why dont u give the commentary... and he just started off... hilarious it was...

den we came back to our hotel room... slept like logs...den came back on 14th...


dont know.. wen ll i be going back to the same place.. one thg is for sure.. i had experienced somethg beyond wrds... soemthg i ll always hold on to.. now n forever..




Monday, February 28, 2011

i m back..

first and foremost-Ashish sharma plz give my camera back... its been more then two months... and plz buy urs.. now since u r married.. bahut saara dahej aaya hoga.. kindly utilise... and dont u dare take my camera for ur honeymoon.. my dad is dying to have a glance of the camera... he is all set to click more then thousand pics once he gets hold of it...

anyways... lifes been ok... yeah ! well.. yes!!!.. from 12th to 23rd were the most busy days..

12th went to jammu
14th delhi..
16th rajasthan
18th guajart
23rd back to delhi..

end of it... me all tired.. head to toe

had a fabulous time wid frds at jammu....


rajasthan i went to meet my mom... was dying to meet her... i met her after like six months..thk u ma.. for being my mom....
i know i m a difficult child.. had always given u a tough time... but mom,i know u handled me so well..
tell me how r u able to read my mind... how can u come up wid exactly same wrds that i want to say... how can u simply read my eyes n recite an entire story... mom i love u..
i m thrilled to see u all busy... i m thrilled to see u handling two houses so wonderfully... i m in awe of seeing u as the son of ur family... ma gimme just 10% of wat u r.. n i m sure my life wud be sorted... mom ur scent makes my day...

classes r ok... bored i m... but den if i have taken a responsibility i have to fulfill it..




Tuesday, February 1, 2011

was standing outside the institute... the same asshole was just passing by in his car... he slowed down.. n waved at me n said hi as if we were long lost frds n meeting after a long time...
some ppl just dont realise that they are assholes...phewwww!!!!

Saturday, January 29, 2011

got late for the class... so in a hurry i parked at a complex of a residential area... soon one elderly lady came and said beta yahan park mat karo.. i told her aunty i m in a real hurry.. jaise hi first class over hogi i ll take my car... she said ok beta...

after my class got over n i moved out.. a guy came up to me.. and said.. abhilasha soem guy was asking whos car is it.. wahan se hata lo... so i said ok..
wen i reached thr.. n opened the door of my car.. a man of bout 35 came shouting..."hey u lady... how dare u parked ur car here"... i was like.. wats wrong wid him... i told him.. that look.. dont use this tone wid me.. n i parked it here wid permission... n moreover its not a no parking area.... den he started screaming... n by default usne mujhse gaali sunli.. i went like.. u asshole dont u dare shout...

dis bastard drove his lil car...maruti alto.. n parked it in front of my car.. and said.. ab dekhta hun tu kaise jati hai...i was wondering ... us saaale mein itni himmat... usko sochna chahiye tha.. ki agar ladki is coming in such a big car.. to baap ya pati to bahut top shot honge hi... :-)
now dis was it... abhilasha ji ki khisak gayi... i opened his car's door.. n i said.. ab dekhti hun tu kaise nikalta hai... ab saale ki band baj gayi.. maine kaha... tujhe laga hoga ladki hai... kuchh kahegi nahi.. ro dho ke chale jayegi... maine kaha saale wo to main hun .. nahi to neeche pada hota...
kehta achha tujh mein itna ego hai.. maine kaha tune ego abhi dekha kahan hai...
aise banenge civil servants... aise hain ye civil servants ke bachhe...
and dis continued for like ten fifteen minutes.. tabhi rest of the residents came out...
den he went like.. abhi to main beti ko lene ja raha hun... fri dekhta hun.. maine kaha... kaise jayega dekhti hun.. car chala ke to dikha....
but finally i thought jane dete hain... beti chhoti hogi wait kar rahi hogi...

one of my bihari classmate was thr.. he tried realy hard to separate us.. i told him.. dat look anish u dont know.. how to handle such ppl...

watever it was.. i had another class.. den i moved too....
later on i was figuring out.. ki aise bhi log hote hain.. i have never ever met a man sorry an asshole like him...

i attended y class n reached home.....
reactions of my family members.. bout it

pati dev- kya zarurat thi muh lagne ki.. tumhe roz wahin jana hai..

bhai- police ko kyon nahi bulaya... car ka number note kiya.. ullu da pathha gaya ab to.. teri classes khatam ho jaye.. car ke sheeshe fodne hain.. ma behan ki gaali kyon nahi di.. ghar per to kitna chillati hai

dad-us kutte ko to main batata hun... ghar note kiya na... y didnt u call me...

lil brother-the calmest of all.... no reaction firstly... reaction after hours together... kuchh zyada hi achievement feel kar rahe ho...


later wen i was all set to sleep.. i asked dad..
dad aise log exist karte hain i never knew it.. dad said. its a band world... these r the dogs u ll find every now n den... stop thinking.... next time u end up in such a mess... gimme a call.. or call the cops...

havent told it to mom....
but i know.. as soon as i ll open my mouth to tell her... she ll enquire bout the other person...and ll definitely say.. ab kya kiya tune...

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

one thg is for sure we just cant go against the natures law.. no matter wat it is... eveyrthg watever goes away from u.. must come back to u...
i never believed in the karma theory.. n still i have apprehensions bout it.. but lately i have been experiencing soemthg in that regard....
the thgs i left undone... r the thgs which r haunting me.. in not so bad way.. n i m completeling them now...for example...not keeping in touch wid ppl whom i was suppose to... not giving my attention to few thgs... which i m giving now... n its not a conscious effort mind u... such thgs r coming back to me....the thgs i never wanted to face... is standing rite in front of me...
so ppl sort out thgs den n dere.... dont leave thgs for later...anythg thg for that matter...

easier said den done i know... but trust me... dis is d way it is..even if u ll leave it in dis birth... it ll haunt u in next...
do watever u want in dis birth... let it be workign out for moksha.. or anythg like dat!...
but DO IT NOW!!!